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Birthdays and life
Today is my eldest son’s 32nd birthday. This is my precious son who often hurts on the inside. He lives in a pain stream with a constant bombardment of negative feelings and voices pressing him to push...
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Foundational rules for right spiritual work, #2
After viewing the world of thought we now work on illusion. Rule 2 Learn the meaning of illusion and in its midst locate the golden thread of truth. This walk we are on as spiritual beings occupying...
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And the sun brightens the gloom
I have learned that when I am at my most upset, angry beyond words what is actually happening is sadness I am unwilling to acknowledge sitting in my chest. When we get hurt by those close to us the...
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Loneliness in a far off land
Dealing with hard issues far away from home or your comfort zone can make the grey seem even more grey. I was so glad the sun came out yesterday because it helped me see clearer the issues I am dealing...
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Asking for help
I don’t like asking for help because for most of my life there has been no one around to ask. When I am standing in shit I get the mop out and clean it up myself because nobody else is going to. I have...
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traveling alone and dealing with fear
There can be no doubt we are by nature fearful creatures. I figure it comes from being chased as prey, a deep-seated memory that frankly does us good for survival, and hurts us when spreading one...
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You want me to be grateful for what?
As part of my ongoing spiritual walk I ever so often have to begin again in order to make the necessary adjustments to rise to the next level, whether it be a level of consciousness, or stage of life....
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Giving in not giving up
It has been said a thousand times that to change you have to do the work. You can’t buy your way out or through it. You can’t wish it away. You can’t really avoid it because anything you are putting...
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when in doubt look for the sun
I have not felt well this last few days and there is nothing like feeling unwell to skew your world view when you let your emotions run like wild horses through your head and mind. I have like my last...
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Mental illness and family
My son is bipolar, tough words to write because of the looming negative stereo type of responses I have received over the years. He is not only bipolar he also suffers from PTSD, which makes all things...
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Your word is you!
There is a little known fact about us humans moving through life, every thought, word and deed is recorded. There is a mechanism within us that does the recording and after we pass we will review this...
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Difficult days
There is never going to be an early warning sign that big trouble is afoot. It will blindside you with its horror leaving you reeling with bruises all over your heart and soul. It is, I am sorry to...
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Fatherless children
I am tired of fatherless children. I am tired of men who have children and then cannot be bothered to finish the job. Sex feels good parenthood, not so much. What is that? Yes I know sometimes it’s...
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the power and woes of being a parent
I agree. I remember when I found out I was pregnant the first time. Still a teenager I had decided to keep my baby and do what I felt was the right thing. Fast forward 34 years and I am still...
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the art of sacrifice
I have been trying to understand the difficulties of my life in a different way, through a different lens. Frankly if I don’t do something my head is going to blow off. I’ve had enough. Every time I...
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pressing on
Each day comes with its difficulties and we have the choice to press on. There was a time when pressing on wasn’t a statement but a battle cry, Nothing can hold me back, I am pressing on no matter...
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What’s the point!
I’m not sure what the point is anymore. I’ve been writing and writing and just like teaching if no one is getting it, why continue? I see pain, I have gone through pain, the entire country is going...
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